One of the hardest things I find is seeing my friends upset.
Especially those who are closest to me. I know for me, my closest friends have
been there for me nonstop. At times of need it has really been the hugest help
when a friend has really taken notice, seen things weren’t ok and offered to
lend a helping hand. Friends should be there for each other and something has
happened recently that really inspired me to write this blog. So one of my best
friends is off at uni and the other has gone on a gap year to India. Both of
them are doing things that are completely out of there comfort zone and are
experiencing things they’ve never done before. They’ve moved away from home for
the first time and it’s such a huge step.
I want to write about homesickness and how to
help out a friend who is experiencing homesickness. I’ve done a lot of research
and have found that actually there’s not much advice out of there that’s really
genuine and helpful, so I want to give it a go. This can be generalised to many
things for any friends that are experiencing homesickness.
I've come up with a list of things you can do to help with
homesickness:
1.
Stay in touch
For me, I find skype has been a real life saver this year! So
im not actually the one whos away from home but all my friends are far away
from me. I skype my best friends as much as possible! Make time for your
friends. Make a real effort to push yourself and make sure you continually stay
in touch. Effort has to come from both
sides so don’t sit there and expect everyone to keep in touch with you if you’ve
made no effort yourself. Technology is such a great thing to keep in touch with
people. Inbox your friends, message them, text them, phone them, and if you can’t
get access to any technology, write a good old fashioned letter. Never underestimate
the hand written letter! You can’t beat the feeling of getting a hand written
letter through the post, so this is sure to cheer up the friend that’s feeling
homesick.
2.
‘don’t make a permanent decision for your
temporary emotion’.
This is really important. If you’re feeling homesick, push through
it! Allow yourself to cry and have your down moments but don’t quit anything
because of the homesickness. For instance if you’re on a gap year and you’re
feeling overwhelmed with how homesick you are, do not leave and go home! I promise
you, you will regret it. I found a quote on Pinterest (of course) that really
says it all. ‘Don’t make a permanent decision for your temporary emotion’. Push
past the feeling. Once you’re feeling ok again you will feel so grateful you
stuck with it. It will get better just hang in there!
3. Reach out to people around you
Talk to the people you are with. If you’re at uni talk to
your uni friends about it. Chances are they’re feeling the exact same way. You can
support each other and have someone physically close to you to go to for
support. Never feel like you can’t talk about it. Don’t keep it in!
4.Think about the good times you’ve had whilst
being away.
Remind yourself of all the fun times you’ve had whilst you’ve
been away. It will remind you that it hasn’t all been bad and that more of
these times are to come. It will reassure you that you’re decision of moving away
from home was a good one.
5.write it down!
Whether its in a blog or a diary I recommend writing down
what youre feeling. It will let you get out all your issues and lift a weight
off your shoulders. Also seeing youre issues and thoughts visually in front of
you will allow yourself to read through it and work out the route of the issue.
It will also help you to see the positives.
6. Take a walk
While this may seem like a simple
thing to do I find that this actually works. Allow yourself to get away from it all, take
some time to yourself even if it’s just for five minutes. It will clear your
mind, let yourself get some fresh air and will hopefully make you feel
refreshed afterwards.
7. stay busy
Even if this is just by reading a
book, keeping busy will help take your mind off of things. Perhaps if youre at
uni join a club? Or if youre on a gap year take up a hobby such as painting? Something
you enjoy. When you keep busy it distracts you from the bad things you may be
experiencing.
8.build a routine
At home, we all have our routines
we like to keep to. By building a new routine whilst away it will make you feel
more at home. So you might not be able to have the same one as you used to? You
will adjust to it. Sticking to a routine will help you move on and not get
stuck on one moment or feeling.
9. look for the positives
Easier said than done! When you’re
feeling extremely down sometimes it’s impossible to see the brighter side of
things but I assure you there are positives in everything, even if you have to
search far and wide for them. Once you’ve found them, write them down. Constantly
remind yourself of them. What has this experience taught you? How have you
grown stronger because of it? Things like this will help pull you away from the
negativity.
I’m hoping that this will help
someone out there. Whether they’re dealing with homesickness themselves or
trying to help out a friend who’s dealing with homesickness. Just remember that
it will pass! And when it does you will be glad you were strong enough to see
yourself through the hard times. Keep your
chin up; everyone at some point will experience the feeling of being homesick
so do not think any less of yourself if you are. You are not alone!
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