I have never ever done a blog before, I am useless with technology and only recently have I started reading others. I don't know the first thing about blogs. I don't know what's right and wrong, what's normal to blog about or even how to present my blog. So why have I started to write one myself when I am seem so incapable?
well, first of all I feel like this year I have found myself holding back from speaking my mind. A lot of times, certain things in my life have happened and I feel restricted from talking about them because I feel whatever I write/say will be judged and ridiculed or I will make people feel uncomfortable and awkward. As a result of this I have held my tongue and this has left me with a load of built up tension and feelings, and then one time or another I have ended up snapping and getting into a big old teary mess wondering what started it all.
I feel like by writing a blog it will enable me to just get everything off my chest, and by using this as my brain dump it will leave me with a clearer mind in person therefore a more pleasant person to be around!
another reason is because with all my friends at uni, I feel like a lot of the time I cant speak to them. especially really close friends, people who I would usually tell everything to, I would be able to say whatever I want, whenever I want. However now I feel like I have to hold back from talking to them, especially about worries, concerns or just general moans. I don't want to bring them down as I'm sure they're having the best time and a right laugh at uni so why would they want to stop everything just to say 'there, there' and tell me everything's going to be ok. I imagine them to be constantly busy and by me talking to them I always imagine I'm just getting in the way.
Because of this, it just leaves me never getting out my issues, so they're all just stuck with me constantly building up and bringing me down. by writing my issues onto this blog I imagine it will bring me that cathartic feeling of releasing my problems and dumping them elsewhere. this will not only be better for me but better for those who I constantly ask for help from, and will allow them to get a break from me!
having said all this, I want to make this blog a mainly positive place, of course I'm only human, so there will be the odd moan but I swear I'm not a depressive person! I love the way other blogs can provide a place for others to seek comfort in, get advice from and maybe just something somebody somewhere will accidently come across, read and will be able to relate to. I am definitely not doing this to get followers. I'm not even expecting to get one single follower, I'm doing this because its something I want to do, and if someone by some miracle, may decide they like what I'm writing then that's just a bonus and I will genuinely be flattered and surprised at the same time!
I'm so bad at this already but maybe I might just gradually learn more and more and one day make it bearable for other people to read!
here goes..
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